Gossip with Claude
about your chats.
The goose reads your WhatsApp so you two finally have something to talk about. What did you miss overnight, who is beefing in the project group, what did your cousin promise in March, and what was in that 4-minute voice note. Nosy. Loyal. Only your chats.
No credit card. No sales call. A goose will not phone you.
What the goose does.
Everything a nosy relative does, minus the judgement.
Catch up, not scroll up
"What happened in the project group today?" Four lines. Names included. Drama summarized.
Find that one message
The address. The invoice number. The thing your cousin promised in March. The goose remembers.
Voice notes, read
Your uncle's 4-minute voice note, in 12 seconds of text. Arabic, English, mixed, whatever.
Who talks the most
Most active chats, busiest hours, who replies in 20 seconds and who takes 3 days. Receipts.
One goose per person
You link your WhatsApp. Claude signs in as you. Nobody else's goose can see your pond.
Read-only by default
The goose does not type in your chats unless you switch that on. It just listens. Intensely.
How it works.
About a minute. Less if the goose likes you.
Make an account
Username, password, done. The goose does not want your mother's maiden name.
Link WhatsApp
Scan a QR code, same as WhatsApp Web. Your recent history syncs in about a minute.
Connect Claude
Paste one URL into Claude's connectors. Claude signs in as you. Start asking.
Field reporters.
Our geese, hard at work.
The girls’ group chat when a new girl joins the office.
Your wife just typed “we need to talk”.
2 AM. When you finally realize she was mad at you the whole time.
Testimonials.
Unsolicited. Mostly.
"I asked who still owes us money. The goose had names, amounts, and the exact message where each of them said ‘next week’. Three months ago."
"Finally understood the family group without reading the family group."
"The client sent 47 voice notes about the ad creative. The goose summarized them as ‘make the logo bigger’. I billed him for $47."
"HONK."
Pricing.
We are not selling this to anyone. The goose insisted on a pricing page anyway.
Flock
- Everything in Gosling
- Voice notes as text
- Activity stats and receipts
- Still one goose, but it tries harder
Questions people honk at us.
Is this official WhatsApp?
No. It uses the same web protocol WhatsApp Web uses, through an open-source library. Meta did not approve of the goose and was not asked.
Can the goose see other people's chats?
No. Each account links its own phone and lives in its own folder on the server. Claude gets a token for one person and the goose checks it on every single question.
Will it get my number banned?
Reading is quiet and nobody notices. Blasting strangers is how numbers get banned, which is why sending is off unless an admin turns it on.
Where is my data?
On this server, in your own folder: session, messages, media, transcripts. Nothing goes to Claude until you ask it something, and then only the answer's worth. Voice-note transcription goes to ElevenLabs if that is enabled.
Why a goose?
Loud, nosy, loyal, and will defend you from anything. Like your group chats, but on your side.